shs jazz groups miss first competition of the year.
some headline.
it was disappointing. not being able to attend the north shore jazz fest because there's a ton of snow outside and 'they' wouldn't let the busses leave. i suppose we'll have to wait another three weeks to show 'em what we've got. on the bright side, we've got that much longer to prepare. not that we weren't ready or anything, but there's always pleanty of room to improve.

i feel 100% better. no more sickening feelings when i stand. no more sharp pains in my chest or back. dizziness, fever, headaches... they're gone. thank god. i always feel so useless when i'm sick. i hate not being able to do anything. i appreciate being able to rest, but i'm the kind of person that would rather wear myself ragged than have nothing to do.
perhaps that would explain, in part, my unwillingness to leave the game last night. if my parents would have let me, i prolly still wouldn't have gone home. i'm too stubborn and love band too much. even when i can't stand up for more than 10 minutes at a time.

there wasn't much to do today. it was icky outside, and my parents didn't want me to leave the house, so i was stuck here alone all day. the first excuse my parents gave me for staying in was that they didn't want me randomly driving around schaumburg in the snow. i didn't like that answer. especially since right after they said that, they told me they were going out and wouldn't be back until late tonight. i explained the hypocracy of their restrictions, so instead, i had to stay home because i was getting over a very unusual illness. i thought that was fair enough. but i'm well again, so i can do anything i want tomorrow. yay!

i must have been in some kind of romantic mood today. i listened to the Garden State soundtrack like i needed to memorize every lyric to every song on the cd by tomorrow or i would be shot. i took my very first bubble bath, found some old incense (but didn't burn any), lit a whole bunch of candles, watched Kate and Leopold, and wrote. a lot. poetry, stories, lyrics, feelings... spent a lot of time writing out every little insightful or supposedly insightful thought or idea that crossed my mind. i didn't finish a lot of it, but i think i got most of it out and written down so i won't forget when the time comes to complete my 'work'. creative writing- it's a really enjoyable hobby. i don't know if i'm any good or not. i can't be the judge of my own.. stuff. i can't complain; however, since i rarely let anyone read anything i write. if i don't ask for outside opinions, i'll never know if the stuff i write is decent or if it's "shit my grandmother could have written" as they say in LoveActually.

maybe i'm not that bad. i got an e-mail from the website i sent my poem to for mr. murawski's writing contest assignment, and they said that they want to publish my work in this book. if they actually liked that thing i sent in, i think i'm going to assume it was a hoax. i plan on investigating the website a bit more and the anthologies they claim to produce every so often, then i'll get excited about being published. i don't know. they do make a very big deal about mailing (actual mail, not e-mail) the consent form to them with signatures and parent signatures and whatnot. i prolly just got lucky. maybe no one submits stuff to this site. all the stuff they send me on how they're one of the most popular online free poetry contests and how they have a new featured poet every week out of their entries.. who knows what's true. maybe murawski will know.

i've got a few ideas left, so i'm going to get back to my candles and writing.
hope everyone's weekend is going well =)

If I caught the world in a bottle
And everything was still beneath the moon
Without your love would it shine for me?
If I was smart as Aristotle
And understood the rings around the moon
What would it all matter if you loved me?